"The London criminal is certainly a dull fellow," said he in the querulous voice of the sportsman whose game has failed him. "Look out this window, Watson. See how the figures loom up, are dimly seen, and then blend once more into the cloud-bank. The thief or the murderer could roam London on such a day as the tiger does the jungle, unseen until he pounces, and then evident only to his victim." "There have," said I, "been numerous petty thefts." Holmes snorted his contempt. "This great and sombre stage is set for something more worthy than that," said he. "It is fortunate for this community that I am not a criminal." "It is, indeed!" said I heartily.
This is the story of a kid growing up during the seventies and his adventures within the small pit village in West Yorkshire where he was raised. Share the the hilarious stories and anecdotes including his school days at the local "National Coal Board preparatory school" where the curriculum included riding around on Honda 50's, learning to smoke and playing truant in readiness for going darn't pit. During a time before the invention of the mobile phone the story highlights the differences between that generation and the current batch of selfie snapping Zombies roaming the Earth constantly plugged into the interweb. The X Box generation will never appreciate the simple joy of throwing stones at one another the way that they did! Granted they were safer back then as they were armed with cricket bats, tennis rackets and catapults and Jimmy Saville was pre-occupied at the time on Top of The Pops! I guarantee that you will recognise the situations and laugh as you realise that the world has gone completely mad! "My Mam always told me that I was special, that's why I went to a special school on a special bus. That 'School Special' Double Decker had the cleanest windows in town!"
Alfred Elwes was a nineteenth-century British author of children's literature, academic, philologist, and occasional translator of French, Italian and Portuguese literature into English.
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